Cooking

From Funky Station
Revision as of 01:32, 9 September 2025 by Mish (talk | contribs)
This page will be on simmer until we can cook up something delicious.
In the meantime please do check out the amazing work that Alice Heurlin / Arimah did with their cookbook
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This page has been recently created or hasn't been been completed yet.

The microwave

The Microwave is the Chef's (and unlucky prisoner's) choice of heating utensil, being able to cook everything from bread, to pizza and pies, as long as you select the right time to cook. It has a menu layout similar to the grinder, with ingredients in the microwave on the left, and a selection of buttons on the right. You can pick between Instantanious and 30 seconds of cooking time using said buttons. Each recipe requires a different time in the microwave. If the ingredients or time are wrong the ingredients in the microwave will either be spit out or it will burn into a burnt mess.

Recipes

Base products

CreateCakeBatter
CreateVeganCakeBatter
CreateDough
CreateCornmealDough
CreateButter
CreateTortillaDough
cornmeal [15]
water [10]
Mix
Bad Recipe! [1]
CreateChocolate
coca powder [6]
milk [2]
sugar [2]
Mix
Bad Recipe! [1]

Tacos

Taco Shell
flattened tortilla dough [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Fish Taco
taco shell [1]
raw carp fillet [1]
onion slice [2]
tomato [1]
cabbage [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Beef Taco
taco shell [1]
raw cutlet [1]
cheese wedge [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chicken Taco
taco shell [1]
raw chicken cutlet [1]
cheese wedge [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Beef Taco Supreme
taco shell [1]
raw cutlet [1]
cheese Wedge [1]
tomato [1]
cabbage [1]
onion slice [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chicken Taco Supreme
taco shell [1]
raw chicken cutlet [1]
cheese wedge [1]
tomato [1]
cabbage [1]
onion slice [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Rat Taco
taco shell [1]
rat meat [1]
cheese wedge [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]



Burgers

Bun
dough slice [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Plain Burger
raw meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cheese Burger
cheese wedge [1]
raw meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Bacon Burger
cheese wedge [2]
raw bacon [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Five Alarm Burger
chili [3]
raw meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Big Bite Burger
cheese wedge [1]
raw meat [2]
onion slice [2]
tomato [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Super Bite Burger
cheese wedge [2]
raw meat [2]
tomato [2]
25 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
McGuffin
cheese wedge [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
McRib
BBQ Ribs [1]
onion slice [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Rat Burger
rat meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chicken Sandwich
raw chicken meat [1]
Mayonnaise [5]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Duck Sandwich
cheese wedge [1]
raw duck meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Fillet-o-Carp Burger
cheese wedge [1]
raw carp fillet [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Crab Burger
raw crab meat [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Corgi Burger
raw corgi meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Brain Burger
brain [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Appendix Burger
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Xenoburger
raw xeno meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Tofu Burger
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Bearger
raw bear meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Empowered Burger
Plasma Sheet [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Jelly Burger
amanita jelly [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Soylent Burger
cheese wedge [2]
soy beans [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Crazy Hamburger
olive oil [15]
cheese wedge [2]
raw meat [2]
chili [1]
cabbage [1]
green crayon [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Clown Burger
clown mask [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Mime Burger
mime mask [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Ghost Burger
outer ghost sheet [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Human Burger
raw human meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Spell Burger
wizard's hat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Baseball Burger
baseball bat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cat Burger
cat ears [1]
raw meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Roburger
capacitor [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Breads

Bread
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Baguette
table salt [5]
black pepper [5]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cream Cheese Bread
milk [5]
cheese wedge [2]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Banana Bread
banana [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Sausage Bread
raw meat [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Meat Bread
raw cutlet [2]
cheese wedge [2]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Spider Meat Bread
raw spider cutlet [2]
cheese wedge [2]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Xeno Meat Bread
raw xeno cutlet [2]
cheese wedge [2]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cornbread
cornmeal dough [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Tofu Bread
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Mimana Bread
soy milk [5]
Nothing [5]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Buttered Toast
bread slice [1]
stick of butter [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
French Toast
bread slice [1]
milk [5]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Garlic Bread
bread slice [1]
stick of butter [1]
garlic [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Jelly Toast
bread slice [1]
amanita jelly [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Two Slice
bread slice [2]
wine [5]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Moldy Slice
bread slice [1]
fly amanita [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Pizzas

Margherita Pizza
cheese wedge [1]
tomato [4]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Mushroom Pizza
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Meat Pizza
cheese wedge [1]
raw meat [3]
tomato [1]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Vegetable Pizza
carrot [1]
ear of corn [1]
eggplant [1]
tomato [1]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Hawaiian Pizza
raw chicken cutlet [3]
pineapple slice [5]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Dank Pizza
ambrosia vulgaris [3]
cheese wedge [1]
tomato [1]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Donk-pocket Pizza
cheese wedge [1]
warm donk-pocket [3]
tomato [1]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Pasta

Boiled Spaghetti
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Spaghetti
boiled spaghetti [1]
tomato [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Spaghetti And Meatballs
meatball [2]
boiled spaghetti [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Butter Noodles
stick of butter [1]
boiled spaghetti [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chow Mein
carrot [1]
ear of corn [1]
eggplant [1]
boiled spaghetti [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Copypasta
spaghetti [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Rice dishes

Boiled Rice
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Rice Pudding
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Rice And Pork
raw cutlet [3]
boiled rice [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Black-eyed Gumbo
chili [2]
raw cutlet [3]
boiled rice [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Egg-fried Rice
carrot [1]
boiled rice [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Soups

Onion Soup
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Mushroom Soup
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Nettle Soup
potato [1]
nettle [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Tomato Soup
tomato [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Blood Tomato Soup
tomato [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Vegetable Soup
corn [1]
carrot [1]
potato [1]
eggplant [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Bisque
raw carp fillet [1]
chanterelle cluster [1]
tomato [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Meatball Soup
carrot [1]
meatball [1]
potato [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Wing Fang Chu Soup
soy sauce [1]
raw xeno cutlet [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Wing Fang Chu Soup (alt)
soy sauce [1]
raw spider meat [2]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Stew
raw cutlet [3]
tomato [1]
potato [1]
carrot [1]
eggplant [1]
chanterelle cluster [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Salty Sweet Miso Cola Soup
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Clown's Tears
banana [1]
glass shard [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Eyeball Soup
carrot [1]
potato [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Monkey's Delight
black pepper [1]
banana [1]
monkey cube [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Oatmeal
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Potato dishes and fries

Loaded Baked Potato
cheese wedge [1]
potato [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Space Fries
potato [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cheesy Fries
cheese wedge [1]
potato [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Carrot Fries
carrot [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Onion Rings
onion slice [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Kebabs

Meat Kebab
skewer [1]
raw cutlet [3]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Hawaiian Kebab
chili [1]
skewer [1]
raw cutlet [1]
pineapple slice [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Fiesta Kebab
chili [1]
ear of corn [1]
skewer [1]
raw cutlet [1]
tomato [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
BBQ Ribs
BBQ Sauce [5]
raw meat [2]
skewer [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Rat Kebab
skewer [1]
raw rat meat [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Double Rat Kebab
skewer [1]
raw rat meat [2]
20 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Human Kebab
skewer [1]
human torso [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Lizard-tail Kebab
skewer [1]
raw lizard meat [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Chilis

Bowl Of Hot Chili
chili [1]
raw cutlet [1]
onion slice [1]
tomato [1]
20 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cold Chili
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Clown's Tears
BikeHorn [1]
onion slice [1]
tomato [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chili Con Carnival
clown shoes [1]
chili [1]
raw cutlet [1]
onion slice [1]
tomato [1]
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Queso
cheese wedge [2]
chili [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Enchiladas
chili [2]
ear of corn [1]
raw cutlet [1]
20 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Salads

Herb Salad
ambrosia vulgaris [3]
apple [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Coleslaw
vinaigrette [5]
red onion [1]
cabbage [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Ceasar Salad
olive oil [5]
bread slice [1]
cheese wedge [1]
cabbage [1]
red onion slice [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Kimchi Salad
vinegar [5]
carrot [1]
cabbage [1]
garlic [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Valid Salad
ambrosia vulgaris [3]
meatball [1]
potato [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Citrus Salad
Lemon [1]
Orange [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Fruit Salad
orange [1]
apple [1]
grape [1]
watermelon slice [2]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Jungle Salad
banana [1]
apple [1]
grape [1]
watermelon slice [2]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Watermelon Fruit Bowl
watermelon [1]
orange [1]
apple [1]
banana [1]
lemon [1]
ambrosia vulgaris [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Cookies, pancakes and waffles

Pancake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chocolate Chip Pancake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Waffles
Soy Waffles
Cookie
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Sugar Cookie
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Raisin Cookie
4no raisins [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Oatmeal Cookie
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Pies

Apple Pie
pie dough [1]
apple [3]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Grape Tart
pie dough [1]
sugar [5]
milk [5]
grape [3]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Banana Cream Pie
pie dough [1]
banana [3]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Meat Pie
pie dough [1]
raw meat [3]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Xeno Pie
pie dough [1]
raw xeno meat [3]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Amanita Pie
pie dough [1]
fly amanita [1]
pie tin [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Cakes

Cake
cake batter [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Apple Cake
apple [3]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Carrot Cake
carrot [3]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Lemon Cake
lemon [3]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Orange Cake
orange [3]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Lime Cake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cheese Cake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Clown Cake
clown mask [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Birthday Cake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Chocolate Cake
chocolate bar [2]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Brain Cake
brain [1]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Slime Cake
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Donk pockets

Warm Donk-pocket
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Dank-pocket
dank-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Spicy-pocket
spicy-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Teriyaki-pocket
teriyaki-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Pizza-pocket
pizza-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Honk-pocket
honk-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Berry-pocket
berry-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Warm Gondola-pocket
gondola-pocket [1]
5 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Others

Sashimi
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Cuban Carp
cheese wedge [2]
chili [1]
raw carp fillet [2]
15 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Popcorn
ear of corn [1]
20 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Amanita Jelly
fly amanita [3]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Dry Tobacco Leaves
tobacco leaves [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Dry Cannabis Leaves
cannabis leaves [1]
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Aloe Cream
10 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]
Suppermatter
30 sec
Bad Recipe! [1]

Condiments & Ingredients

Water
Recipes
BloodBreakdown
blood [20]
Mix
water [11]
iron [0.5]
sugar [2]
carbon dioxide [3]
protein [4]
SlimeBloodBreakdown
slime [5]
Mix
water [4]
nitrogen [1]
SapBloodBreakdown
sap [10]
Mix
water [9]
sugar [1]
CopperBloodBreakdown
blue blood [20]
Mix
water [11]
copper [0.5]
sugar [2]
carbon dioxide [3]
protein [4]
Effects
Drink (0.5u per second)
  • Satiates thirst at 1.333x the average rate
A colorless liquid that humans need in order to survive.
Seems to be translucent.
Milk
Recipes
No recipes
Effects
Drink (0.5u per second)
  • Satiates thirst at 1.333x the average rate

Plants (0.5u per second)

  • Adjusts nutrition level by 0.1
  • Adjusts water level by 0.9
An opaque white liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals.
Seems to be opaque.
Nutriment

All the vitamins, minerals, and carbohydrates the body needs in pure form.
Seems to be opaque.
Satiates hunger.

Rice
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.4 sugar.
Adds 0.1 nutriment.

Hard, small white grains.
Seems to be chewy.

Corn oil

Corn oil, A delicious oil used in cooking. Made from corn.
Seems to be oily.

Ketchup

Made from pureed tomatoes and flavored with spices.
Seems to be tangy.

Table salt

Commonly known as salt, Sodium Chloride is often used to season food or kill borers instantly.
Seems to be grainy.
Satiates thirst.
Satiates hunger.

Ketchunaise

So-called Russian dressing, popular among Space Americans.
Seems to be saucey.

Hotsauce

Burns so good.
Seems to be spicy.

Protein
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
50% chance to heal 0.8 Brute per unit.
Unknown effect: ModifyBloodLevel. Ask /tmp/moony#0029 for help.

Found in certain meals, good for bodily health.
Seems to be clumpy.
Satiates hunger.

Flour
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.4 sugar.
Adds 0.1 nutriment.

Used for baking.
Seems to be powdery.
Satiates thirst.

Soy sauce

A salty soy-based flavoring.
Seems to be salty.
Satiates thirst.
Satiates hunger.

Universal enzyme

Used in cooking various dishes.
Seems to be chalky.

Vinaigrette

A basic salad dressing made with oil, vinegar and seasoning.
Seems to be sour.

Vitamin
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
50% chance to heal 1 Brute, and 1 Burn per unit.
Reduces bleeding.

Found in healthy, complete meals.
Seems to be chalky.
Satiates hunger.

Cornmeal
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.1 nutriment.

Used for baking.
Seems to be powdery.
Satiates thirst.

Oats
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.2 sugar.
Adds 0.3 nutriment.

Used for a variety of tasty purposes.
Seems to be coarse.

Horseradish sauce

Smelly horseradish sauce.
Seems to be overpowering.

Frostoil

Leaves the tongue numb in its passage.
Seems to be cold.

Astrotame

The sweetness of a thousand sugars but none of the calories.
Seems to be sugary.

Vinegar
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.4 water.
Adds 0.1 vitamin.
Causes vomitting.

Often used to flavor food.
Seems to be sour.

Black pepper

Often used to flavor food or make people sneeze.
Seems to be grainy.

Sugar

Tasty spacey sugar!
Seems to be sweet.
Satiates hunger.

BBQ sauce

Hand wipes not included.
Seems to be gloopy.

Mayonnaise

Creamy sauce, made from oil, egg, and some (edible) acid.
Seems to be thick.

Egg
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.5 protein.

Used for baking.
Seems to be mucus-like.

Oil

Used by chefs to cook.
Seems to be oily.

Olive oil
Effects
Food (0.5 units per second)
Adds 0.75 nutriment.

Viscous and fragrant.
Seems to be oily.